Holding a kid back, does it help??

TIGER#27
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Re: Holding a kid back, does it help??

Post by TIGER#27 »

greygoose wrote: Tue Nov 07, 2017 8:51 am No one is hating on Burg, at least not from my perspective. I'm simply trying to get information on what people have seen in comparison to one way or the other. If there's that advantage by staying back a year, for a boy I say absolutely, maturity, body mass and muscle build. My wife has contested that it could hurt because colleges would see he was a year older, I laughed and told her they don't care if they kid can help their program and he's got the grades and good character.

People bring up Burg but I've brought up kids I know were held back, one I wondered about was R. Williams from Jackson couple yrs ago. Holden I believe was held back and you can see his advantage and when you watch you can't help but think this dude has another year to improve upon these skills.

My argument has been how can it hurt?? My wife doesn't see it that way and my son he can go either way on it. She just wanted me to present a case where it's little more concrete that it does help and some examples.
Hope I helped.


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Re: Holding a kid back, does it help??

Post by noreply66 »

Turning 19 or playing high school sport in the 12th grade might get a kid labeled dumb jock. Saw it when I went to school.


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Re: Holding a kid back, does it help??

Post by TIGER#27 »

noreply66 wrote: Tue Nov 07, 2017 9:49 am Turning 19 or playing high school sport in the 12th grade might get a kid labeled dumb jock. Saw it when I went to school.
I'm not sure were are still in the time and age of kids calling other kids at 19 dumb jocks.
But hey, Call it what they want, but if it pans out to an Academic Scholarship or Athletic Scholarship, college will be much cheaper. Next time your watching an NCAA game weather it be football or basketball look at the age of some of these players now and look at their size. I'm going to guess there aren't very many 18 y/o freshman doing very well (yes a couple) but look how many 19/20 y/o Freshman are making an impact.
If they come in as 18 year olds, then most likely they will get redshirted.


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Re: Holding a kid back, does it help??

Post by greygoose »

TIGER#27 wrote: Tue Nov 07, 2017 9:30 am
greygoose wrote: Tue Nov 07, 2017 5:16 am
fbnut wrote: Mon Nov 06, 2017 10:33 pm In my oppinion you can’t go wrong with holding your child back. I have a senior and just out of selfishness I wish I would have held them back to have them around another year
Oh this is something I've thought about in terms of calculating the number of years left and how quickly it goes. This is definitely a factor as well.
Greygoose, if your son is in the 5/6th grade I would absolutely do it. I have 2 sons, 1 of which has graduated (he's 23) and every year he says Dad I wish you wouldn't have listened to everyone (esp. MOM) and just held me back. He said you know how much better and mature I would have been my senior year. (I almost cry every time he says that). I feel I did let him down.
Now on to my youngest son. I did have the opportunity to hold him back as well and I didn't let this opportunity slip by.
All elementary school grade cards he was straight A's, 3rd grade got 2 in the 3rd/4th grade spelling Bee, Won it his 4th grade year and Top 6 his 5th grade year. So grades weren't the problem (Nor were they with my oldest son). Physically and Mentally I could see the same trends In my youngest son as I seen in my oldest son. I done a bunch of research on could he play when he was a senior and if there were any drawbacks from being held back.
Of course His mother (My ex) and her whole family was against it, but My wife, my Oldest and youngest sons were all on board.
Now my Youngest is was pretty good at sports and the classroom, so I figured this was a win, win situation for him. He did lack some confidence in sports and in the classroom. He never played football for the fear of the bigger kids hurting him so after 3rd grade flag football, even though he was one of the fastest, was done with football. Now in Basketball he was still pretty good but lacked confidence there as well. Baseball he often played up an age level because he threw the ball hard and just had the talent to play (my get it from me :D ) but still lacked confidence.
So after his 6th grade year came the decision to hold back or to move on.
Well to the dislike like of everyone but the 4 (My wife, my Oldest and youngest sons) and some outside help from many of friends for and against it, we made the choice to hold him back. But before I did this, I had many, many, many of long talks with my son about how this wasn't for only sports as everyone has said or thought but this is mainly for your education an getting an academic scholarship because this was something he could completely control, and that this would put him in the perfect situation for him to put in hard work to get an Athletic Scholarship.
We are into now 2 years and I can say. WOW!!!! He did play football his 6th grade year (the second time) and he loved it, and was really good, but more importantly his CONFIDENCE grew so much as well as his maturity. He's becoming more of a leader. In the classroom he's still getting A's and B's.
This is his 7th grade year and we are so glad that we did what we did. The ex-in laws still thinks it's all about sports, but who cares. My son is couldn't be more happier in school and you can see he is enjoying the ride much better then when my oldest was in the same situation at that age.
(sorry, if this is jumbled up some I get to thinking faster then I type).
But I would do it 5th or 6th grade year, because of the before said reason by someone because of Age and limits.
Best of Luck in your families decision.
Thank you very much for the information an example like this is one I was hoping to hear. If I'm going to present my case gotta have good hard facts :D


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Re: Holding a kid back, does it help??

Post by greygoose »

noreply66 wrote: Tue Nov 07, 2017 9:49 am Turning 19 or playing high school sport in the 12th grade might get a kid labeled dumb jock. Saw it when I went to school.
It seems so frequent any more that I believe that label doesn't really apply. Especially considering in some cases I know of the kids are excellent students as well, B. Scott an example.


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Re: Holding a kid back, does it help??

Post by Truth&fiction »

Not a big fan of holding back for an advantage in sports . Its what it is to give an advantage over younger kids . By not playing stronger competition sometimes back fires and by their Jr year they are peeked and the younger players pass them up . I have heard some coaches say "He's a true 17 year old Senior. I have known kids that if they were held back they would look like a super Star coming up thru. 1 year makes a big difference in K THRU JR HIGH . Just do what's best for your kid . Concentrate on helping that child become an important part of society when their playing days are over. Just an old man's opinion.


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Re: Holding a kid back, does it help??

Post by donaldtrump »

Holding Skippy back for Sports in High School is absolute selfish lunacy by the Parents....If your child is so great in his particular sport why the need to hold him back? Why should a School system have to deal with a kid repeating a grade that he Academically passed....Parents that do this for sports and not by recommendation of School, or failing, should be made to pay a tuition for an unnecessary repeated School year. The Donald's never seen an academically gifted child held back a year for Academics! However The Donald has seen an academically gifted child advanced a grade! Tiger 27 states if it pans out to an Academic or Athletic Scholarship , college will be cheaper... I don't think this topic was brought up for Academic hold backs so why throw that in...Of course if a kid is having trouble academically hold him back......Ninety percent of hold backs at later ages are held back for sports.....
Melania and I think it's a really beautiful thing when a School and State finally say enough is enough and start to buckle down on Skippy's Parents holding their kids back for sports...More needs to be done....
I'm Donald Trump and I approve this message


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Re: Holding a kid back, does it help??

Post by VisionQuest »

I've heard of the Kids that are held back for sports "labeled" as Red Shirts in High School.


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Re: Holding a kid back, does it help??

Post by teach1coach2 »

noreply66 wrote: Tue Nov 07, 2017 8:19 am no one starts 1st grade until the age of 7
Maybe back in the day. My wife teaches kindergarten and about half her class is 5 when the year starts and turns 6 during the year. Which means they start 1st grade at age 6. Parents don't want to pay for child care and want their kids in school as early as they can get the school to take them.

Each school sets the date that a child must be X age by to start kindergarten. I live nowhere near Wheelersburg, but it is possible the school system does not allow children to start kindergarten until age 6 due to an understanding that maturity is a huge issue when it comes to young children learning. If you are a school system needing a larger student population and the state funding that comes with it, allowing students to start at an early age is one way of getting it.


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Re: Holding a kid back, does it help??

Post by fortdawg »

I can see where it might be helpful to the kid academically if they were held back at a young age.
It's a given that boys mature slower than girls and some 7 year old boys eyes aren't mature enough to focus on small images for very long---hence you have a lot of young boys who have trouble reading.
Maturity also helps when it comes to applying oneself in your schooling.

Now as to athletically...I don't know a coach who doesn't prefer Seniors to Sophomores. 18 will usually beat 16 unless there is a huge talent disparity, and it's a rare kid who isn't a better ballplayer at 18 than they were at 16.
You can make a good argument that the parents might be focusing a little to much on athletic success if this is the only reason they are held back---but that's a decision they get to make.

It can work both ways---I remember years ago Alexander must have started some kids really early because I had kids from there graduating at 16! I didn't think that was helpful to them.
I would think most employers would favor 18 over 16.


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Re: Holding a kid back, does it help??

Post by doubleplay643 »

greygoose wrote: Mon Nov 06, 2017 4:19 pm My wife and I have gone back and forth, mostly me bringing it up, about holding our son back. She told me she'd need some evidence to support my theory that holding them back is beneficial to them once they hit high school in terms of helping with possible scholarships. Was wondering what everyone's experience with this is and what you've seen. By that I mean kids that you know where either held back or simply started school later vs kids who are a year younger and the garnering of scholarships. We've all seen this kid or that kid get some type of scholarship doesn't mean the OSU or Alabama offers either just getting that free ride. Have you seen more kids getting offers that are right where they should be in school or do you see more kids that are held back having a leg up in scholarship offers??? thanks for any information.
Good question greygoose..."Does It Help?"

Does it help academically? Does it help athletically? Does it help socially? Does all of the above help in order to have a great High School experience?

I come at this with some history (myself and my kids), I was 17 when I graduated in the 80's and started college at OSU as a 17 year old, and in the beginning it didn't go well lol, but eventually I matured (maybe lol) and managed to get back on track and graduate in 4-1/2 years after a very rocky start. So when I thought about it for my kids I really viewed this to some extent based upon my experience(s).

I have a similar situation as to one of the other posters. I did it one way for one son and the other way for the other son.

My oldest son was 17 all the way through his senior year turning 18 just days before graduation. I had discussed holding him with his mother in the 6th grade or so but he was very in tune with his class socially and when he was around his classmates even though they were mostly older he never really "felt" out of place to us. It was pretty clear to us he was fine. He is now 19 and played his last football game in 2015. To think he could still have played all of this year seems crazy to me, I cannot imagine him still in high school, he was ready to go at 17/18 and I am glad we didn't hold him one year much less two. He had a good High School experience, had some success and enjoyed himself. Was he very effective as a 14-year old on the varsity field, umm no lol, but he did play some special teams, found a spot and by the time he was 16 and a junior had a role. With 20/20 hindsight I think we made the right decision.

My youngest son we did the opposite, he is a late summer birthday and when he was growing up we noticed he felt out of place to us when he was around kids in his grade, but when he played ball with kids in his age group 10U, 11U, 12U, etc., he seemed to be much more comfortable with his age rather than his class from a maturity or social standpoint. We held him in 6th grade, taking him to a private school for a year and then back to public school the following year. He is now a sophomore and so far in hindsight I think that was the right move for him. He will be 18 his entire senior year and turn 19 the summer after graduating.

Every parent knows his kid and gets that "gut" feel as to how he/she is with kids around their age. I would say trust your gut, because there is no right or wrong answer here in my estimation. Make the decision to give him the best experience, because that experience will matter the most after they are gone. Neither of my kids were or will be heavily recruited, so my decisions were never athletically driven (probably some subconscious lol) but I think each will (did) have good HS experiences. So I feel like we made the best decision for each, even though it was two different decisions. If I had to give a recommendation without knowing the situation or having a parental "gut" feeling I would say try and time it so the majority of their senior year is spent as an 18 year old.

As a postscript my oldest is a girl and she could have left the house when she was 14 lol, I really think boys are the ones that require some analysis on this decision. Girls are just a different in how quick they mature.

Good luck to you and your wife in your decision.


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Re: Holding a kid back, does it help??

Post by art_vandelay »

Why not hold kids back? It an extra year you get them at home with 'em before sending them off into the real world. If it helps with sports and academics, it's just icing on the cake. It should probably be done as early as possible though to avoid the stigma of being a "hold-back" or "redshirt".*


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Re: Holding a kid back, does it help??

Post by greygoose »

doubleplay643 wrote: Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:57 pm
greygoose wrote: Mon Nov 06, 2017 4:19 pm My wife and I have gone back and forth, mostly me bringing it up, about holding our son back. She told me she'd need some evidence to support my theory that holding them back is beneficial to them once they hit high school in terms of helping with possible scholarships. Was wondering what everyone's experience with this is and what you've seen. By that I mean kids that you know where either held back or simply started school later vs kids who are a year younger and the garnering of scholarships. We've all seen this kid or that kid get some type of scholarship doesn't mean the OSU or Alabama offers either just getting that free ride. Have you seen more kids getting offers that are right where they should be in school or do you see more kids that are held back having a leg up in scholarship offers??? thanks for any information.
Good question greygoose..."Does It Help?"

Does it help academically? Does it help athletically? Does it help socially? Does all of the above help in order to have a great High School experience?

I come at this with some history (myself and my kids), I was 17 when I graduated in the 80's and started college at OSU as a 17 year old, and in the beginning it didn't go well lol, but eventually I matured (maybe lol) and managed to get back on track and graduate in 4-1/2 years after a very rocky start. So when I thought about it for my kids I really viewed this to some extent based upon my experience(s).

I have a similar situation as to one of the other posters. I did it one way for one son and the other way for the other son.

My oldest son was 17 all the way through his senior year turning 18 just days before graduation. I had discussed holding him with his mother in the 6th grade or so but he was very in tune with his class socially and when he was around his classmates even though they were mostly older he never really "felt" out of place to us. It was pretty clear to us he was fine. He is now 19 and played his last football game in 2015. To think he could still have played all of this year seems crazy to me, I cannot imagine him still in high school, he was ready to go at 17/18 and I am glad we didn't hold him one year much less two. He had a good High School experience, had some success and enjoyed himself. Was he very effective as a 14-year old on the varsity field, umm no lol, but he did play some special teams, found a spot and by the time he was 16 and a junior had a role. With 20/20 hindsight I think we made the right decision.

My youngest son we did the opposite, he is a late summer birthday and when he was growing up we noticed he felt out of place to us when he was around kids in his grade, but when he played ball with kids in his age group 10U, 11U, 12U, etc., he seemed to be much more comfortable with his age rather than his class from a maturity or social standpoint. We held him in 6th grade, taking him to a private school for a year and then back to public school the following year. He is now a sophomore and so far in hindsight I think that was the right move for him. He will be 18 his entire senior year and turn 19 the summer after graduating.

Every parent knows his kid and gets that "gut" feel as to how he/she is with kids around their age. I would say trust your gut, because there is no right or wrong answer here in my estimation. Make the decision to give him the best experience, because that experience will matter the most after they are gone. Neither of my kids were or will be heavily recruited, so my decisions were never athletically driven (probably some subconscious lol) but I think each will (did) have good HS experiences. So I feel like we made the best decision for each, even though it was two different decisions. If I had to give a recommendation without knowing the situation or having a parental "gut" feeling I would say try and time it so the majority of their senior year is spent as an 18 year old.

As a postscript my oldest is a girl and she could have left the house when she was 14 lol, I really think boys are the ones that require some analysis on this decision. Girls are just a different in how quick they mature.

Good luck to you and your wife in your decision.
Thanks that's another good perspective. My son always wonders about his friends but he's one that gets along with everyone for the most part his age and younger typically. He's ok with his teammates that are older but in school he's not big on being around those that are older makes him nervous.


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Re: Holding a kid back, does it help??

Post by se-alum »

It helps ol dad feel good when 19 year old Tommy is out there dominating 14 year old Billy. The difference between an 18 & 19 year old mentally or physically is not so great that one would get a scholarship @ 19, and not @ 18. The reason it helps in high school sports is because there is a big difference between a 19 year old, and a 14,15, or 16 year old.


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Re: Holding a kid back, does it help??

Post by greygoose »

se-alum wrote: Tue Nov 07, 2017 3:29 pm It helps ol dad feel good when 19 year old Tommy is out there dominating 14 year old Billy. The difference between an 18 & 19 year old mentally or physically is not so great that one would get a scholarship @ 19, and not @ 18. The reason it helps in high school sports is because there is a big difference between a 19 year old, and a 14,15, or 16 year old.
That might be true if division 5-6-7 teams had several 18/19 year olds going up against 15/16 because teams in lower division tend to go both ways more often. Quite frankly I'm not worried about Billy out there only worried about the Tommy I have playing. 14 year old Billy is still playing 8th grade or 7th grade ball :D . However, mine would be in a higher division where it's probably little more frequent that players have been held back. Not in all cases obviously. It's also the difference in being 17 and 18/19 which is a big difference if it wasn't then why are so many doing it?? I coached at a school where we had 17 yr old seniors who didn't turn 17 till after the season, quite simply they couldn't stand toe to toe with teams with 18 yr olds.


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Re: Holding a kid back, does it help??

Post by Blackjack »

In FBS power 5 football, kids get on the radar their freshmen and sophomore years and are committed prior to their junior football season. This is why it is so important to be more mature both physically and mentally. There are VERY FEW D1 scholarships awarded to Seniors based on their senior season.


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Re: Holding a kid back, does it help??

Post by Ironman92 »

Good points by double play and blackjack


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Re: Holding a kid back, does it help??

Post by greygoose »

Blackjack wrote: Tue Nov 07, 2017 6:06 pm In FBS power 5 football, kids get on the radar their freshmen and sophomore years and are committed prior to their junior football season. This is why it is so important to be more mature both physically and mentally. There are VERY FEW D1 scholarships awarded to Seniors based on their senior season.
Exactly right, when I hear people talking about local seniors and how they've gotten offers from this large school or that large school. Sorry but if you haven't picked by the time your season starts unless you are some 4/5 star the schools aren't holding a scholarship for you. I've seen one local lineman who had some DI offers but as the season has wore on I've heard different schools popping up not on that level. Which isn't a bad thing like I tell the kids I've coached and parents and friends of kids being offered, get that education. Get whatever scholarship you can and get that scholarship the better off kids are financially after college the better and leaving school with a 50K-100K in school loans is tough. You have a chance at a scholarship you take that and set yourself up for further down the road in life.


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Re: Holding a kid back, does it help??

Post by greygoose »

Ironman92 wrote: Tue Nov 07, 2017 6:16 pm Good points by double play and blackjack
How old was Regan (spelling) Williams from Jackson couple years back??


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Re: Holding a kid back, does it help??

Post by svac83 »

Speaking as a kid that graduated at the age of 17. Let me put my prospective on it. First yes i struggled in school for years would this of been easier if i was a little more mature. Sure maybe. I also was a late grower so i am sure that it would of helped me athletically. And buy a late grower i mean i joined navy out of high school still 17 when i went to boot camp. I still have my boot camp ID says i was 5' 10 155lbs. Before my 19th birthday i was reissued complete uniform sets for free because of my growth. My ID i have when i got out of navy says 6' 2" 225lbs. So yes it would of made a lot of things easier for me. Including personal relationships with friends and members of opposite sex.

But god i would of hated it and it would of changed me 100% from who i am. Being young being a little less mature a little smaller. Made me have to be creative and and tough. When i joined the military this worked out very well for me. Yea there were things i was not ready for but that had been the case my entire life. By the time i reached my 20th birthday. I was in charge of about 50 men. by 21 about 130. I didn't get much gruff from anybody about being younger then the people when i was in charge of. I was also one of the people i ever met during my time in the military had people that out ranked me that actually worked for me instead of me working for them. They had problems with this as it was always short lived as it was obvious to everyone that i was better for the job then them.

I didn't always make rank because i guess i was always more worried about getting job done then if i ruffled a few feathers or who thought what about me. Me being young put me in positions where i had no choice but to face some of my biggest fears in life. Tackling them head on because uphill climbs came natural things for me. I spent 9 years in the navy and had plans to stay 20. then at same time navy offered early outs for people in my rate i had the opportunity on the outside of military i wanted to explore. No one wanted to let me out they thought the love and passion i had for what i did meant that i loved what i do. What they didn't know is growing up the way i did lead me to immerse myself in everything i did in my life. It was the secret to my success.

Now in my career after the military i am what i call a trouble shooter and i am well known for it. I have turned countless businesses around i have been incredibly successful in my business and personal life. I could of done better financially in my life but a lot of that has been based on personal opinion of wanting to live where i live and not travel all the time. and enjoy my family life.

I truly believe if i was held back life would of been easier for me. But i would of not grown up to be the man that i am. I would of not grown up with this edge and the drive i have now. I dont think i would be nearly as competitive as i am now. So i would never want to make this decision for anyone else nor would i judge anyone for the decision they make. But sometimes doing what is best for a kid is not to give them a built in advantage. Sometimes that kid is better off being planted in the dirt young in life by some older kids so he realizes life is not always going to be easy there isn't always going to be someone there to give you advantage of more time or size or maturity.

Learning that lesson growing up and getting pounded in a sport in life in the comfort of parents home was much better for me then. My parents trying to put me in best position in my child hood then me getting hit in the face with real life later.

just one man's opinion.


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