Jokes Or Funny Stories

[noreply66]

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?------------------------------------------------Nacho Cheese

[noreply66]

What do you call 4 bullfighters in quicksand?
















Quatro Sinko

[noreply66]

What kind of lettuce was served on the Titanic?












Iceberg

[noreply66]

Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?












They all have phones.

[noreply66]

A husband who thinks he's smarter than his wife is married to a very smart woman.

[Charley Hustle]

Obama 4th best president ever.



I was just reading that after less than 4 years, Obama has been rated the 4th best president ever:

Reagan and 9 others tied for first,

15 presidents tied for second,

and 18 other presidents tied for third.

Obama came in fourth

[BubbleGumTiger]

Dear Abby: Are birth control pills deductible? —Bertie

Dear Bertie: Only if they don't work.

[noreply66]

Dear Abby: Are birth control pills deductible? —Bertie

Dear Bertie: Only if they don't work.

$$$cash$$$$

[noreply66]

My mama taught me about roots.

Do you think you were barn in a barn?

[BubbleGumTiger]

When people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?'

Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'

[BubbleGumTiger]

How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a sophomore course.

[KVDW]

Dear Abbie: What's the difference between adultry and fornication? --- Charlie

Charlie: I never could tell the difference.

[Focused]

Approximately 200 dead crows were recently found near Northam on the Great Eastern Highway in West Australia and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.



The Story...



A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu (to everyone's relief). However, he determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, and only 2% were killed by an impact with a car. The State Government then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine the disproportionate percentages for truck versus car kills. The Ornithological Behaviorist determined the cause, the conclusion in short order was: When crows eat road kill, they always set-up a look-out crow in nearby tree to warn of impending danger. His conclusion was that the lookout crow could say "Cah", but he could not say "Truck."

[noreply66]

My mother taught me about genetics.

You're just like your father.

[noreply66]

Airhead: What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a cop.

[noreply66]

Argument: A discussion that occurs when you're right,but he just hasn't realized it yet.

[BubbleGumTiger]

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, '911'!

[noreply66]

Cloths dryer: An appliance designed to eat socks.

[BubbleGumTiger]

Sad, but true story about Safe SEX





Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore.



A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.


Pass this safety information on to all your buddies!

[noreply66]

Diet Soda----A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half-pound of peanut M & Ms.