Let's Hear Your Best Blonde Jokes

[Burg_Grad_77]

I'll start with this one.

WINTER BLONDE

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of
her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.


The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you
are losing some of your load."

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again.
She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.

Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the
blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of
your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and
continues down the street.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again.

All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the
truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name
is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light.


When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back
to the blonde.

He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says...
"Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Ohio, and I'm driving the
SALT TRUCK!

[Burg_Grad_77]

A few days ago I was having some car work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred-ten?' She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one..' She said that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked 'is there a 710 on this car?' She pointed and said, 'Of course, its right there.'


Scroll down to see her 710.

[Lancer_Fan]

Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!


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A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

"Where did you get that?"
The pig replied,
"I won her in a raffle!"

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Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.


The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,

"I think they could be bird tracks."

The second blonde went to look and said,

"No, I think these are deer tracks."

They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!


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A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,


"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."


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A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,

"You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"


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A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

"I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the blonde insisted saying,
"No. A bet's a bet."

Then the redhead said

"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied

"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"


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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair dyed so she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

[orange-n-brown 365]

There was a blonde walking down the street with her ipod plugged into her ears and she decides to stop to get her hair cut she walks in tells them she wants a hair cut gets in the chair the lady cutting her hair asks her to remove her ear buds and she says no I cannot I will die so the gal keeps cutting it finally gets to the point where she needs them removed the blond again refuses.. so the gal pulls the ear buds out and the blonde falls out of the chair dead the gal goes all my God what in the world happened! So she picks up the ear bud sticks it in her ear and hears



breathe in breathe out breathe in breathe out

[orange-n-brown 365]

Do you know why blondes don't eat pickles?


















They cannot get their head in the jar!

[Brutus8907]

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair dyed so she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

i once heard a similar one, it went something like this...

A blonde walks into an appliance store gets what she wants and goes to the counter and says "I wanna buy this TV."

the cashier says "I'm sorry, we don't sell to blondes.

upsest, she leaves, dyes her hair and comes back the next day gets what she wants, goes to the counter and tells the cashier "I wanna buy this TV."

again, the cashier tells her they don't sell to blondes. angrily she flags down a manager and tells him she wants to buy the TV.

he also replies "i'm sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

Very angrily she asks him "I've never seen you before in my life, i dyed my hair yesterday, there's no way you can know i'm a blonde."

the manager says "yes, there is one way."

"What is it?!?!?!" the blond snaps

"that's a microwave."

[Brutus8907]

Funniest Blonde Joke!!!

i caught on after about the second or third one, it's still good though.

[Manwithplan]

breathe in breathe out breathe in breathe out

You will have too "breathe" in very deeply before reading that joke. Good gosh, where is the punctuations at?

[orange-n-brown 365]

breathe in breathe out breathe in breathe out

You will have too "breathe" in very deeply before reading that joke. Good gosh, where is the punctuations at?

gee sorry I was trying to breathe in and out as i was typing

[Orange and Brown]

[orange-n-brown 365]

A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them." A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'."

[OZZIEOHIO]

This isnt a blonde joke but its the truth.

[orange-n-brown 365]

This isnt a blonde joke but its the truth.

[orange-n-brown 365]

A few days ago I was having some car work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred-ten?' She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one..' She said that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked 'is there a 710 on this car?' She pointed and said, 'Of course, its right there.'


Scroll down to see her 710.

I asked my daughter if she had one of these on her car she said wait I'll go LOOK Yes I have a blonde

[OZZIEOHIO]

Heres another for you buckeyes fans

[ballparent]

This isnt a blonde joke but its the truth.

Ahhh...that's really a compliment to all the women because you're saying that they look much better in real life than they think they do in the mirror.
I won't comment on what it's saying about the guys.

[orange-n-brown 365]

Heres another for you buckeyes fans

[JHS4EVER]

How can you tell when a blonde is using a computer? Answer: There is whiteout all over the screen

[Gray Fighting Tiger]

A blonde is standing on the left bank of a stream.

Another blonde is standing on the right bank of the stream.

The first one yells to the second one "How do I get to the other side?"

And the second one yells back "You're already over there!"

- - - - - - - - -

Just one of many blonde joke sites...

http://www.zelo.com/blonde/

[jeepgirl_4life]

A broke blonde decides to ask God for help. “Dear Lord,” she prays, “if I don’t get some cash, I’m gonna lose everything. Please let me win the lottery.”

Lottery night comes, but the blonde doesn’t win. She prays even harder, saying, “God, why have you forsaken me? My children are starving. Please just let me win this once.”

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light, and the blonde hears God speak.

“Sweetheart, work with me on this,” he says. “Buy a ticket.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A blonde who suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, opens the door, and, sure enough, finds him naked in the arms of a redhead. Well, now she’s angry. She opens her purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so, she is overcome with grief and points the gun at her own head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don’t do it."

"Shut up," she says. "You’re next."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Returning home from work, a blonde is shocked to find her house burglarized.

She telephones the police, and a nearby K-9 unit is the first to respond. As the officer and dog approach the house, the woman storms out onto the porch and shouts, “I get robbed, I call the police for help, and they send me a blind cop?”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Q: Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?

A: She read that one child out of every four babies born was Chinese.