For me this is the coolest thing ever

[LICKING COUNTY FAN]

My son whom some of you might not know legally in the eyes of the law is nothing but a friend due to the fact I did not marry the person who gave birth to him.

To me, he has always been mine and will always be. Now the coolest thing ever happened two-days ago. He calls me and says dad I need to ask you something and I said yes, he then asks would it be ok to legally change my last name to yours? Of course with tears in my eyes I said yes.

[ItownHosscat]

Belated Congrats on your "new" son.

[ballparent]

Congrats, NCF. I'm sure that was a phone call that took your breath away and one you'll never forget. Nice story.

[LICKING COUNTY FAN]

Congrats, NCF. I'm sure that was a phone call that took your breath away and one you'll never forget. Nice story.

I share this only because I have shared the bad with a lot of you over the years and wanted to let everyone know there is good even if I choose not to post it has often as I could.

[noreply66]

Congrats--Pop----------"cool"

[whodeyAtown21]

I haven't experienced that...I haven't even been alive long enough to have the chance to experience, but I must say that would probably be one of the coolest things possible to happen to a guy. Congratulations.

[caglewis]

These questions will make me a "bad person", but I have to ask.
Why didn't you sign his birth certificate [you don't have to be married to do that] giving him your last name at the time he was born? And have you provided any of his financial support or had a connection/relationship with him since his birth?
I ask this because my niece had a baby [18 yrs ago] whose father strenuously denied paternity and refused any connection or responsibility at the time.
When he [the father] finally came to acknowledge that fact and chose to accept some responsibility for his son, she initiated the "legal" last name change from hers to his for their child [who was still too young to do, or ask, that himself].
I do understand that there could have been many circumstances and factors beyond your control in the situation at the time of your son's birth and since.
I am very happy for you that circumstances have now changed to allow - better yet, invite - this "legal" acknowledgement between your son and yourself.
My guess is that took huge steps of accommodation and reconciliation on the part of everyone involved. You have my very best wishes for the future.

[LICKING COUNTY FAN]

These questions will make me a "bad person", but I have to ask.
Why didn't you sign his birth certificate [you don't have to be married to do that] giving him your last name at the time he was born? And have you provided any of his financial support or had a connection/relationship with him since his birth?
I ask this because my niece had a baby [18 yrs ago] whose father strenuously denied paternity and refused any connection or responsibility at the time.
When he [the father] finally came to acknowledge that fact and chose to accept some responsibility for his son, she initiated the "legal" last name change from hers to his for the child [who was still too young to do that himself].
I do understand that there could have been many circumstances and factors beyond your control in the situation at the time of your son's birth and since.
I am very happy for you that circumstances have now changed to allow - better yet, invite - this "legal" acknowledgement between your son and yourself.
My guess is that took huge steps of accommodation and reconciliation on the part of everyone involved. You have my very best wishes for the future.

It does not make you a bad person at all for asking.

Why didn't I sign the birth certificate? I told her I did not trust her that much, Meaning I knew when we were broke up she would hit me for child support. Also I was good friends with the person who did the deed to create my son and I hoped deep down inside he would own up to this. He didn't.

She kept him away from ne for 9 of his first 18 years of life. When I was part of it he was always taken care of money wise.

When she called me up when he was 16 and said she did not want him you can have him then I took care of all of his needs.

Anymore question feel free to ask.

[caglewis]

Also I was good friends with the person who did the deed to create my son and I hoped deep down inside he would own up to this. He didn't.

What? Someone else "did the deed to create your son"? Are you suggesting artificial insemination or a "surrogacy" embryo implantation procedure was responsible for that pregnancy? Otherwise, that's impossible. [I understand that a man is "legally" responsible for any child - genetics aside - that a woman bears while he is "legally" married to her - but you said you weren't ever married.]
Genetic science has changed enormously in the last 20 years and even more so since I was a teenager. But it is still fact that the female does the physical "giving birth" part which makes it hard for her to deny "parenthood". DNA identification and testing has now made it much more difficult for a male to "deny" his connection; and, conversely, much more difficult for a female to deliberately "misidentify" the paternal "contributer" to her pregnancy.
What probably hasn't changed much is the difficulty of convincing teenagers [or people of any age, for that matter] of the long-reaching consequences of their actions; or the desire to escape/evade bad consequences resulting from any of our choices [wise or not] - which is common to all of us humans!

[The Instructor]

I am a bit lost here.

Is the boy biologically your son?

[grndma1]

I was wondering the same thing.

[mstangmom]

From what I gather from the story is this ladies.

When NCF and her got together, she was pregnant.
NCF and her were NOT married at the time just dating.
she got pregnant by a guy that was a friend of his.

NCF being a stand up kinda guy played the role of dad all these years. taking care of the boy physically, emotionally and financially.

NCF am I close or should I just stop assuming?

[orange-n-brown 365]

sounds like that to me also mom... are we right ncf??

[YOU'RE TIGER BAIT]

GREAT STUFF. WE ADOPTED A BOY WHEN HE WAS 4. HE'S 18 NOW. PROUD TO CALL HIM SON, AS WELL AS MY OTHER SON.

[LICKING COUNTY FAN]

Also I was good friends with the person who did the deed to create my son and I hoped deep down inside he would own up to this. He didn't.

What? Someone else "did the deed to create your son"? Are you suggesting artificial insemination or a "surrogacy" embryo implantation procedure was responsible for that pregnancy? Otherwise, that's impossible. [I understand that a man is "legally" responsible for any child - genetics aside - that a woman bears while he is "legally" married to her - but you said you weren't ever married.]
Genetic science has changed enormously in the last 20 years and even more so since I was a teenager. But it is still fact that the female does the physical "giving birth" part which makes it hard for her to deny "parenthood". DNA identification and testing has now made it much more difficult for a male to "deny" his connection; and, conversely, much more difficult for a female to deliberately "misidentify" the paternal "contributer" to her pregnancy.
What probably hasn't changed much is the difficulty of convincing teenagers [or people of any age, for that matter] of the long-reaching consequences of their actions; or the desire to escape/evade bad consequences resulting from any of our choices [wise or not] - which is common to all of us humans!

Let me slow it down a lot I often forget words on here get lost sometimes.

My son by law is nothing more than a friend because I did not marry the person who gave birth to him and my name is not on the birth certificate.

What I meant by I did not do the deed to create him just means it was another guy who was in the saddle before I was.

That man, who is was a friend back then denied any responsibility and went as far as to say the kid is not mine. I did not put my name on the birth certificate for the reasons stated above.

I hope this explains it well enough.

The reason I say the person that gave birth to him and do not use the word mom is because I refuse to call her that word. The biggest reason is he, my son won’t call her that. I won’t get into all of the physical abuse he went through from her and the long list of guys she was with when he was forced to live with her. Nor will I get into all of the mental abuse he went through. I will say that is why he has not called her that name in his adult life.

[LICKING COUNTY FAN]

I am a bit lost here.

Is the boy biologically your son?

No as I stated above.

[LICKING COUNTY FAN]

From what I gather from the story is this ladies.

When NCF and her got together, she was pregnant.
NCF and her were NOT married at the time just dating.
she got pregnant by a guy that was a friend of his.

NCF being a stand up kinda guy played the role of dad all these years. taking care of the boy physically, emotionally and financially.

NCF am I close or should I just stop assuming?

I am glad someone got that. Thanks.

[orange-n-brown 365]

it takes a male to make a baby but it takes a real man to be a FATHER