If you have wrong motives don't coach kids

[jeepgirl_4life]

How many times has this story applied to someone you know (or maybe yourself) when it come to coaching the biddy & little league ranks. I've seen it too many times. I think this would be a great guide as a questionaire to the children to rate their coaches.


If you have wrong motives, don't coach kids
May 27, 2008 @ 11:58 PM
The Herald-Dispatch
What would happen if some youth coaches were forced to say to the kids what they were really thinking? What would that sound like?

Here are some possibilities:

"Well, guys, let's be honest here. Most of you are expecting good playing time. But my son will be getting most of it. His playing time was the main reason I signed up to be the coach."

"Hey, that paper we all signed about sportsmanship and the priority of youth sports being to teach and learn life skills? I didn't even read it. I just had to sign the bottom line and I was in. This is all about me having a winning season."

"The reason I signed up to be your coach again this year is because I recruited some new players. Who cares if we got them fake birth certificates? I am not going to lose to Coach Johnson again. I am going to prove to him and all the parents that I am the better coach. This year, it's all about me!"

"You guys are horrible! Come on, you're making me look bad."

"The truth is that I just checked the box that said 'parent helper,' but they couldn't find a coach, so here I am. I'll never check that box again."

"You guys are playing like a bunch of girls out there."

"I wanted to coach because I never got to achieve what I wanted in sports; here's my chance to live my dream. If you need to cheat, I won't turn you in."

"OK, I have to be honest with you. I don't know anything about this sport, but I checked it out online, and I'm good to go."

"The real reason I yell at the referees is that it's what the big-time coaches do on TV, and I think it looks pretty impressive."

"Let's get matching shoes and gym bags so everyone will be impressed and wish they were on our team."

"You're kidding me, right? All it takes is a snow cone and you're happy again? We just lost the game. How can watermelon crushed ice make you feel better? I want you to review every mistake over and over again in your minds the same way I do."

"It's your choice. Yeah, you can go sing in your school concert, but don't plan on playing in next week's game. What are your priorities? I've heard you sing; you're tone-deaf. Well, don't worry about it. If you're gone, it will be one less person I have to worry about getting into the game."

"Fun? Who said anything about fun?"

How's that for a downer? Any of that feel familiar? It makes you think.

Let's make sure our motives are right when we make a choice to influence kids.

If we're faking it at any level, it will eventually seep out and affect our actions.

Take the time to reflect on what lies beneath your surface

[Tigercannon71]

Those are really sad when you hear them at the biddy league levels. Those are the learning times when they learn to play the game not relive their coaches glory days or lack of.

[orange-n-brown 365]

makes me angry when I see kids taught its all about win win win no no fundamentals have been taught.. its do what ever to win...

[someoverkill]

There are always going to be some who take advantage of the system. You just have to take it for what it is. There are always going to be tough things in kids lives. Take the time to teach your kids that in everyone's life a little rain will fall. Sometime the deck will be stacked and you still have to play the hand.

[Orange and Brown]

I teach my kids to have fun. Anything else is just a bonus.

[orange-n-brown 365]

I like those hand picked teams also

[ItownHosscat]

Ive seen coaches coach teams and they have no idea their teaching things the wrong way.
Not everybody has the tools/knowledge to coach,they usually get "stuck" doing it because no one else wants to.

[YOU'RE TIGER BAIT]

THATS HOW I GOT MY FIRST TEE BALL GIG, HOSSCAT. I JUST LEARNED WITH EM. FOOTBALL TO ME WAS ANOTHER ANIMAL ALL TOGETHER. AND AS A BASKETBALL COACH, I WAS THE----------- KEEP THE HANDS UP GUY.

[Orange and Brown]

I agree, sometimes coaches get to coach just because know one else will do it. But thank goodness some one is willing to do it. I always try to help new coaches by giving them good advice and offer any help I can give them.

[Antony]

"Hey, that paper we all signed about sportsmanship and the priority of youth sports being to teach and learn life skills? I didn't even read it. I just had to sign the bottom line and I was in. This is all about me having a winning season."

I always thought that stupid contract thing was stupid as hell. I never read that crap

[YOU'RE TIGER BAIT]

YOU NEED SOMETHING BETTER TO DO , LIKE MAKING BIG ROCKS INTO LITTLE ROCKS.

[Antony]

woah, ALL CAPS. you must mean serious business

[hdfatboy]

Ive seen coaches coach teams and they have no idea their teaching things the wrong way.
Not everybody has the tools/knowledge to coach,they usually get "stuck" doing it because no one else wants to.

That's so true, I think that happens more than most people think. Then once someone volunteers, unless they are really horrible, they get asked to coach more simply because people realize they are willing to do it.

By the same token, you have a lot of parents who are hyper critical and don't realize that what they think is the "right way" either never was correct or is no longer the accepted method. We had a parent (who had only attended one practice) come out and start yelling at our line coach - claiming he wasn't teaching correctly. The funny thing is, our line coach is a former collegiate lineman who had recently retired from coaching line play at a small WV college. I was pretty comfortable that he was teaching proper technique.

I'd recommend that any youth coach seek some form of certification/training prior to their first season (at a minimum). Our football coaches attend at least one training clinic each year as a group and work closely with local HS staff - and at times with WVU's staff.

[eagles73Taylor]

Can we get one of those for parents also! lol

I dont mind any coach trying. That is all I ask of my kids, to try your best. A coach isnt born, they are made. Some of you, myself included might try and lend a hand.

Then again, there are always those that wont listen or are in it for themselves. They never serve any positive purpose.

[BlindWhiteHat]

Lots of great points here. As someone very involved with little league baseball/softball, it is nearly impossible to get a full staff of managers without begging some to do it.

Here's my list of the type of coaches/managers that you'll get in youth leagues.

1. Reliving my youth through my child. I'll make my child a professional someday.
2. Just doing it to help my child play a primo position and get more playing time.
3. Picking my child's friends so we can have a fun time even if we learn nothing and suck really bad.
4. I'm coaching my child's team because I don't want the other idiot coaches to have anything to do with my child.
5. No one else will do it.
6. I want to treat my child like everyone else and hope to teach my players about how to play the game and about good sportsmanship.
7. I would coach even if my kid wasn't involved and just want to stay involved with the game and kids.

Unfortunately, there are way too many people that fit categories 1-5 and not 6 and 7.

[abuck76]

I agree blind.....That is why some high school programs don't seem to keep up with the rest of the area... The Little fellers aren't being taught the basics of their sport, and when thye get to HS, they're lost........

[WldKat98]

Great post, this says it all! kudos!

"Let's make sure our motives are right when we make a choice to influence kids.
If we're faking it at any level, it will eventually seep out and affect our actions.
Take the time to reflect on what lies beneath your surface"