Wit & Wisdom

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Fri Nov 24, 2006 6:45 pm

Mum taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

Mum taught me RELIGION:
"You'd better pray that will come out of the carpet."

Focused · Post by **Focused** » Fri Nov 24, 2006 8:45 pm

Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it.

bulldog21 · Post by **bulldog21** » Fri Nov 24, 2006 10:52 pm

"A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on." - John F. Kennedy

bulldog21 · Post by **bulldog21** » Fri Nov 24, 2006 10:52 pm

"The first lesson a revolutionary must learn is that he is a doomed man. Unless he understands this, he does not grasp the essential meaning of his life."-Huey P. Newton

Post by **noreply66** » Sat Nov 25, 2006 7:50 am

It's all right to have a train of thought,if you have a terminal.

Publisher Richard R. Bowker,quoted in the Buffalo News

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Mon Nov 27, 2006 6:48 am

Three things in life that can destroy a man/woman -

Alcohol
Pride
Anger

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Nov 27, 2006 7:55 am

When you make your peace with authority,you become authority.

Rock singer Jim Morrison,quoted in the Pittsburgh Post/gazette

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Mon Nov 27, 2006 7:06 pm

I learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch-holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back

Focused · Post by **Focused** » Mon Nov 27, 2006 10:06 pm

The word that lies nearest the heart comes first to the lips.

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 3:42 am

Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Roast Beef
1 large Roast of beef
1 small Roast of beef

Take the two roasts and put them in the oven. When the little one burns, the big one is done.

Post by **noreply66** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 8:07 am

There are no hopeless situations; there are only people who have grown hopeless about them.

Clark Booth Luce,quoted in the Oroville,California,Mercury Register

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 6:57 pm

Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it
takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective
reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed,
but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 3:49 am

A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 7:55 am

Politics is not a bad profession.If you succeed,there are many rewards;if you disgrace yourself,you can always write a book.

Ronald Reagan,quoted in the Charotte,N.C.,Observer

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:16 pm

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.

Gore Vidal,quoted in the Montreal Gazette

LoganFootball63 · Post by **LoganFootball63** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:48 pm

pain is just weekness leaving the body

LoganFootball63 · Post by **LoganFootball63** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:48 pm

pain is just weakness leaving the body

Post by **noreply66** » Thu Nov 30, 2006 8:03 am

Man is born to live,not to prepare for live.

Russian author Boris Pasternak,quoted in Forbes

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Thu Nov 30, 2006 8:45 am

A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

Focused · Post by **Focused** » Thu Nov 30, 2006 2:02 pm

Research has proven that if all the people who sleep in church was laid end to end....they would be a lot more comfortable.