Bad Week For

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Aug 29, 2007 9:29 am

The State of Virginia,whose "Live Passionately" ad campaign inadvertently promoted one of America's most violent street gangs. The campaign's logo was a pair of human hands using thumbs and forefingers to form a heart shape,which happens to be the gang sign of Chicago notorious Gangster Didciples. "Obviously,this is disappointing," said Alisa Baily of the state tourism office.

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Aug 31, 2007 3:15 pm

Ecotourism,after a boatload of Japanese whale-watcher spotted a majestic Baird's beaked whale breaking the surface only to realize, when they drew closer,that it had been harpooned by a Japanese whaling ship and was being dragged to slaughter."It's my job to show people whales and it's the whaler's job to catch them," said the captain of the tourist vessel, " but I wonder how this can be avoided."

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 8:35 am

Keith Richards, who demanded,but did not get,an apology from two Swedish newspapers that said he seemed "superdrunk"and "confused" at a recent concert in Goteborg.

Post by **noreply66** » Thu Sep 06, 2007 8:39 am

Premature conflagration, after the eponymous centerpiece of the annual Burning Man festival in Nevada,a 40-foot-high human effigy,was set on fire and burned to the ground four days a head of schedule,disappointing 40,000 artists,counterculture adventures, and aging hippies.

Post by **noreply66** » Sun Sep 09, 2007 8:50 am

Whimsy,after Venezuela's National Electroral Council introduced a bill to ban parents from giving their children wacky games."Extravagant or difficult-to- pronounce" names will be outlawed,as well as any that might expose a child to ridicule,such as Helicopter Chavez ot Moon Unit Cabrera.

Post by **noreply66** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 9:43 am

Finns,after animal-rights activists freed 2,500 mink from their cages at a mink farm Northwest of Helsiki.Police have recaptured half of them,leaving 1,250 minks,famed for their sharp teeth,sour dispositions,and irresistibly luxuriant coats,at large.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 9:45 pm

Beachcombers,who in the space of a week have discovered two detached male feet in size 12 sneakers on the beach of two different islands in Canada's Strait of Georgia. Adding to the mystery both are right feet, said Cpl. Garry Cox,who called the situation "quite suspicious."

Post by **noreply66** » Sat Sep 15, 2007 9:10 am

Inspiration, after Nicolas Sarkozy,the new French president, stopped by the national rugby team's locker and delivered a pep talk consisting of the admonition,"This World Cup,don't blow it."

Post by **noreply66** » Tue Sep 18, 2007 7:54 am

Alumni relations, after American University's newsletter congratulated graduates and "life partners" Ross Weil,29, and Brett Royce,28,for getting married in Massachusetts. The two former roommates say they are neither married nor gay,and are suing.

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Sep 21, 2007 8:46 am

Interspecies relations, with the death,at, 31, of Alex the talking parrot.World famous for his vocabulary of more than 100 English words,Alex's final words,as owner Dr. Irene Pepperberg returned him to his cage were, " You be good.See you tomorrow.I Love you."

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Sep 24, 2007 8:10 pm

Belgium, after a disgrunted citizen put the nondesript Western European nation up for sale on eBay,apparently in protest at the ongoing power struggle between Belgium's French-and Dutch-speaking political factions. Bidding for Belgium had reached a respectable $14 million when eBay canceled the auction.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Sep 26, 2007 9:04 am

Getting Divorced,after 55 percent of 10,000 divorcees asked in an online poll how much sex they were having replied,"None."

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Sep 28, 2007 8:22 am

Transcending worldly attachments, after an elderly American man had to be rescued from amid a neck-deep pile of furniture,appliances,old magazines,and other assorted junk he'd collected in his Massachusetts home over the years.Firefighters had to enter through the windows to resue Michael halko,90, because the clutter made it impossible to open the front door.

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Oct 01, 2007 8:01 am

Seeing what this baby can do,after an employee of a British luxury car-rental firm took a Porsche out for a spin,and was clocked by police at 172 mph.Tim Brady,33, now holds the record for the highest speed ever recorded by the police,a distinction that cost him his job and landed in jail for 10 weeks.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Oct 03, 2007 9:05 am

Reality TV,after astonished viewers of a Swedish game show watched as smiling hostess Eva Nazemson was seized by an on-camera spasm of projectile vomiting.After a brief pause to wipe her mouth,a still-smiling Nazemson went on with the show,explaining, "I'm having peroid pains and they can make you feel really sick.

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Oct 05, 2007 8:56 am

Hyphens, after 16,000 previously hyphenated words ,such as "bumble-bee" and "cry-baby" were either combined or made into two separate words in the latest version of the shorter Oxford English Dictionary.Editors explained that people "are not confident about using hyphens" and don't know what they're for.

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Oct 08, 2007 9:03 am

The pierced,after a Welsh art student was nearly killed by the stud in her bellybutton.During a car accident,Jessica Collins was thrown forward against her seat belt, which pulled the stud back through her stomach nearly to her spine. "The doctor described it like a bullet hole," said Jessica's stepfather,Chris Beadle.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 8:39 am

Coco Pops,after Bermudan Health Minister Jennifer Attride-Stirling explained the nation's fourth-place showing in the worldwide obesity ranking as a function of her countrymen's fondness for the sugary breakfast cereal. "Many people have a massive bowl of Coco Pops for breakfast every day," she said. "The reason they buy that might be because it's two for the price of one."

Post by **noreply66** » Sat Oct 13, 2007 8:54 am

The pierced, after a Walsh art student was nearly killed by the stud in her bellybutton. During a car acident,Jessica Collins was thrown forward against her seat belt,which pulled the stud back through her stomach nearly to her spine. "the doctor described it like a bullet hole," said Jessica's stepfather,Chris Beadle.

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Oct 15, 2007 8:47 am

Rushing to judgment, after a Florida woman was jailed for 50 days when police found a vial of a yellow substance in her purse. Cynthia Hunter, 38 insisted the vial contained dried cat urine purchased for her son's science experiment, but cops didn't buy it. A full lab test last week revealed that the vial contained......dried cat urine.