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Is people’s answer different if a kid quits and is allowed back on a team after missing half of the season. Should a parent be upset when their child loses playing time to the kid who missed have the year because they quit?

king kong wrote: ↑Tue Jan 23, 2018 1:50 pm Try looking into your 13 year old kids eyes, who hasnt missed a practice, attended summer workouts, works in the driveway whenever possible, goes to skills camps, personal workouts and has a pretty good attitude, congratulates his teammates when they come off the floor, cheers for the team etc, and explain to him that some coaches are blind to just winning! Some of his teammates have received technicals and sat for a minute before returning, others who play have missed practices for several days in a row for various reasons and still dont lose playing time! Coach thinks he is coaching for the NBA championship, plays 1 sub unless its a blowout, then maybe a minute at the end of the game! What options do I have, you cant ask for a meeting and say why are others getting by with stuff, cant talk about other kids, and cant talk about playing time for yours! Yes, I know, only 1 year, but having to try and explain it to my child is harder than you can imagine, and I know when he looks back he wont mind that much, but it is hard now.

For all of you saying suck it up, forget you!

Hate to hear any situation like this but I can guarantee you if your kid can make it through that and stay positive he will influence so many people and also be ready for whatever life throws at him as a young adult.

I think there are a couple of situations where it’s ok for a parent to step in and question a coach or coaching staff.

Putting a freshman in the jv squad to start the season ( said school does have a freshman team). Only playing kid anywhere from 8-12 minutes a game. If kid is good enough to be playing jv ball as a freshman, PLAY HIM or move him back down to the freshman team where he will be on the floor more, improving his game. You want to play your juniors the majority of the game, that’s fine but move the future of your program back down to play.

Once again. You got an underclass man on the jv squad but only play him a quarter or 2 on the jv, because you want him for 3 or 4 quarters for the varsity game. That’s all fine and dandy as long as you’re USING him in the varsity game. 1 minute in the second quarter and 2 minutes in the 2nd half ain’t gonna cut it. The kid (under classman mind you) isn’t getting any better sitting there. Play him his 4 quarters jv and give him some mop up duty on the varsity. Kid is only gonna get better seeing court time, not pine time.

Just my opinion.

Sports teaches life lessons. One of the best lessons to learn early is that life isn’t fair. Coaches for HS have a job to do and they have records to consider. Finding balance of play isn’t easy. Best bet is have the kid talk to coach. Another life lesson...

wobycat wrote: ↑Tue Jan 23, 2018 1:08 pm

Snowflake wrote: ↑Tue Jan 23, 2018 12:46 pm

Chief Kdogg wrote: ↑Tue Jan 23, 2018 12:29 pm

I think every player should get equal amounts of playing time. If you come to practice you should get to play just as much as everyone else. Every team should get a trophy too. And every player should get a medal, and all trophies and medals should be exactly the same. We might want to look at turning off the scoreboard too, just so no one feels bad.

Those are outstanding ideas. Especially the part about turning off the scoreboard. What purpose does that serve anyway? Other than make the losing team feel bullied, I see no reason for it. And some of these refs should be ashamed for the way they bully the players, coaches and fans. What's the world coming to when my short, weak, slow, awkward, timid, shy, nonathletic son Joey can't even make the varsity. He should get to play as much as the good players to IMO.

Taken way out of context but I am Not surprised by this forum. We are talking about kids that ARE good enough to make the team, practice just as hard, and for what to see the last minute of a 30 point blowout? No thanks.

Exactly, have the kid play a couple minutes to give a starter a quick breather or for a kid who got a couple quick fouls. Few minutes here, a few minutes there. I agree less minutes in a tight game but the other night at Oak Hill, Norm put in his “subs” with 50.9 seconds left. They had been up by a lot for most of the second half. How s mass substitutions should have come 3-5 minutes earlier. Even if Burg would have closed the gap too close for comfort then you put your starters back in. Or you don’t sub all five. Start mixing in 2-4 guys and leave a starter in to keep things running smooth.

Wobycat didn’t say anything about equal playing time, mixing the kids in more. He also said it is tougher to do in basketball than say football.

king kong wrote: ↑Tue Jan 23, 2018 1:08 pm

Falcon01 wrote: ↑Tue Jan 23, 2018 1:02 pm Sorry, gonna add on. One other problem is that kids know who should and shouldn't be playing. They know if they aren't working hard. But sometimes dad or mom at the dinner table are telling them otherwise. Or even saying coach should do this or that. Please don't do that as a parent. You're confusing them, and you can make them believe it. Don't be that parent.

If some parents are asked to please be open about your kid not being as good as another, what about those parents that allow their kid to have a bad attitude and behavior in sports? Dont they have a responsibility to curb the behavior or is it win baby win and who cares?

Yeah.... That seems like parenting 101.... You're kid having a bad attitude is completely different than what the OP is talking about.

king kong wrote: ↑Tue Jan 23, 2018 1:50 pm Try looking into your 13 year old kids eyes, who hasnt missed a practice, attended summer workouts, works in the driveway whenever possible, goes to skills camps, personal workouts and has a pretty good attitude, congratulates his teammates when they come off the floor, cheers for the team etc, and explain to him that some coaches are blind to just winning! Some of his teammates have received technicals and sat for a minute before returning, others who play have missed practices for several days in a row for various reasons and still dont lose playing time! Coach thinks he is coaching for the NBA championship, plays 1 sub unless its a blowout, then maybe a minute at the end of the game! What options do I have, you cant ask for a meeting and say why are others getting by with stuff, cant talk about other kids, and cant talk about playing time for yours! Yes, I know, only 1 year, but having to try and explain it to my child is harder than you can imagine, and I know when he looks back he wont mind that much, but it is hard now.

For all of you saying suck it up, forget you!

While we've said there are good parents and bad parents, there are also good and bad coaches.

I actually know what your kid feels like. I played 7th grade basketball at new lex and our coach carried 13 of us. The starting 5 never came out unless we were up or down big and same as yours, it was always with 1 minute left. I was not one of those starters, and I wasn't the best player, but I loved playing with my friends, and working hard at practice was fun to me.

Then at fu my senior year, a sophomore took the spot at the 2 that I had worked hard for. It was disappointing, but I decided to just make him work every day at practice, and gave him no easy plays. He hated me for it during the year and would ask me to stop going so hard, but later he appreciated it.


I'd just encourage your boy to keep working. Keep practicing hard, and to remember he's in jh or hs and to enjoy things no matter what he's doing. And I know that's easier said than done, and in both my situations my parents weren't happy either, but I asked them to let me handle it.


Your feelings as a parent are completely fair though.

Hoopie74 wrote: ↑Mon Jan 22, 2018 9:52 pm I believe this is the very thing that blew up on Manchester this year causing their coaching staff to leave. Trust the coaches to build teams as he and his staff wants.Programs have to be built unless in some cases you recruit and even then you have to trust your staff.If you don't get playing time prove yourself in practice. Team ball wins games.

Manchester has been a dumpster fire for a few years. Good luck to the next poor soul who takes that job.

mlittle wrote: ↑Tue Jan 23, 2018 3:13 pm

king kong wrote: ↑Tue Jan 23, 2018 1:50 pm Try looking into your 13 year old kids eyes, who hasnt missed a practice, attended summer workouts, works in the driveway whenever possible, goes to skills camps, personal workouts and has a pretty good attitude, congratulates his teammates when they come off the floor, cheers for the team etc, and explain to him that some coaches are blind to just winning! Some of his teammates have received technicals and sat for a minute before returning, others who play have missed practices for several days in a row for various reasons and still dont lose playing time! Coach thinks he is coaching for the NBA championship, plays 1 sub unless its a blowout, then maybe a minute at the end of the game! What options do I have, you cant ask for a meeting and say why are others getting by with stuff, cant talk about other kids, and cant talk about playing time for yours! Yes, I know, only 1 year, but having to try and explain it to my child is harder than you can imagine, and I know when he looks back he wont mind that much, but it is hard now.

For all of you saying suck it up, forget you!

Hate to hear any situation like this but I can guarantee you if your kid can make it through that and stay positive he will influence so many people and also be ready for whatever life throws at him as a young adult.

what grade is your boy in 7th or 8th ?? Maybe need to go talk to the board and see if you can have them change school policy IF YOU DONT COME TO SCHOOL YOU DONT PLAY like some schools

Hang in there and keep doing what you feel is best. A lot of schools probably don’t have the ideal coach in place for their junior high teams. I am very lucky my son plays for an 8th grade coach that is very knowledgeable of basketball, but more importantly a great leader and role model for a tough age group of young males.

Playing time is tricky. Keep having your son do what he needs to do on his own, keep the parenting on cue and I bet things work out in the end....but often the road to it is bumpy and full of curves.

Best kid plays plain and simple. Not the kid with the craziest parents althogh thats what you see most nowadays.

JV on down to pee wee is about skills development, plain and simple. Who cares if your little one was on the 7th grade league championship? How many 'star' players have transferred, leaving coaches short handed when it comes to skill and quality game experience? If kids are willing to work on and improve their skills, why not give them game experience? You never know when you're going to need more than 5 or 6 players.

VisionQuest wrote: ↑Mon Jan 22, 2018 5:35 pm This is always the Elephant in the Room. Everyone thinks their kid should get more. What's everyone's thoughts on this. Do parents have the right to question a coach about this and/or complain about it. Or does the Coach have ultimate authority and what he or she says goes and the parents and players just need to accept it?

Parents should sit down and shut up.
Let the coaches coach.
Every parent thinks their little Jimmy or Sally is a superstar and it's ridiculous.
As long as the coach communicates with the kids so that they understand their role on the team, then the parent should just let the coaches do their jobs.

Orange and Brown wrote: ↑Wed Jan 24, 2018 11:54 am

VisionQuest wrote: ↑Mon Jan 22, 2018 5:35 pm This is always the Elephant in the Room. Everyone thinks their kid should get more. What's everyone's thoughts on this. Do parents have the right to question a coach about this and/or complain about it. Or does the Coach have ultimate authority and what he or she says goes and the parents and players just need to accept it?

Parents should sit down and shut up.
Let the coaches coach.
Every parent thinks their little Jimmy or Sally is a superstar and it's ridiculous.
As long as the coach communicates with the kids so that they understand their role on the team, then the parent should just let the coaches do their jobs.

A little Piss and Vinegar from O and B!!! I like it.

VisionQuest wrote: ↑Wed Jan 24, 2018 12:09 pm

Orange and Brown wrote: ↑Wed Jan 24, 2018 11:54 am

VisionQuest wrote: ↑Mon Jan 22, 2018 5:35 pm This is always the Elephant in the Room. Everyone thinks their kid should get more. What's everyone's thoughts on this. Do parents have the right to question a coach about this and/or complain about it. Or does the Coach have ultimate authority and what he or she says goes and the parents and players just need to accept it?

Parents should sit down and shut up.
Let the coaches coach.
Every parent thinks their little Jimmy or Sally is a superstar and it's ridiculous.
As long as the coach communicates with the kids so that they understand their role on the team, then the parent should just let the coaches do their jobs.

A little Piss and Vinegar from O and B!!! I like it.

Betting he has no kids

What a poor comment. “Shut up” lol

therealNY wrote: ↑Wed Jan 24, 2018 12:47 pm

VisionQuest wrote: ↑Wed Jan 24, 2018 12:09 pm

Orange and Brown wrote: ↑Wed Jan 24, 2018 11:54 am

Parents should sit down and shut up.
Let the coaches coach.
Every parent thinks their little Jimmy or Sally is a superstar and it's ridiculous.
As long as the coach communicates with the kids so that they understand their role on the team, then the parent should just let the coaches do their jobs.

A little Piss and Vinegar from O and B!!! I like it.

Betting he has no kids

What a poor comment. “Shut up” lol

I do so I'll take that bet.

therealNY wrote: ↑Wed Jan 24, 2018 12:47 pm

VisionQuest wrote: ↑Wed Jan 24, 2018 12:09 pm

Orange and Brown wrote: ↑Wed Jan 24, 2018 11:54 am

Parents should sit down and shut up.
Let the coaches coach.
Every parent thinks their little Jimmy or Sally is a superstar and it's ridiculous.
As long as the coach communicates with the kids so that they understand their role on the team, then the parent should just let the coaches do their jobs.

A little Piss and Vinegar from O and B!!! I like it.

Betting he has no kids

What a poor comment. “Shut up” lol

Nothing like profiling Parents. When I played High School Basketball My parents did not know the coach and never even exchanged HELLO'S. ALL the coach knew was my DAD was the BIG GUY sitting in the back row that did not say a word. Lol

Lol. I stand corrected. However to say parents should sit down a shut up is, well ignorant.

O and B should take his own advice